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‘Siapa bilang gadis Melayu tak melawan’: Forum di atas persepsi dan rungutan – Persatuan Belia Islam Nasional (PEMBINA)

‘Siapa bilang gadis Melayu tak melawan’: Forum di atas persepsi dan rungutan

gadis liberal

PADA 12 September lalu, pada jam 6 petang, saya berkesempatan menghadiri sebuah forum santai yang mengganggu pemikiran saya dengan tajuk ‘ Siapa bilang gadis Melayu tak melawan’ yang telah disampaikan oleh empat orang ahli panel terdiri di kalangan wanita.

Mereka merupakan ahli Sisters In Islam,  Projek Dialog dan Lawyers For Liberty.

Yati Kaprawi (SIS), Fadiah Nadwa, Engku Iman dan Nurhayyu merupakan antara panel yang dijemput bagi membincangkan isu tersebut.

Soalan pertama yang ditanyakan adalah “Apakah definisi Melayu bagi anda semua?”

“Melayu selalunya orang akan kaitkan dengan bercakap dalam bahasa Melayu, memakai baju kurung, lemah lembut dan bersopan santun.” Ujar Nurhayyu sebagai panel pertama yang menjawab soalan itu.

Forum itu dilanjutkan dengan soalan seterusnya, iaitu “Adakah masyarakat Melayu mengamalkan patriarki?” Persoalan ini telah dijawab oleh Yati Kaprawi selaku ahli SIS yang tegar dalam memperjuangkan hak kesamarataan gender.

“Pada pandangan saya, patriarki dalam masyarakat Melayu muncul adalah kerana islamisasi konservatif yang didoktrin oleh para ustaz dan ulama sendiri.

“Orang perempuan Melayu sering dimomokkan dengan mesti duduk di rumah dan tidak perlu bekerja, hanya perlu melayan suami semata-mata. Ditambah pula dengan hadis-hadis dan ayat Quran tentang kelebihan lelaki dalam hak warisan, kahwin empat dan sebagainya.

“Semua itu jelas menunjukkan amalan patriarki dalam masyarakat Melayu. Jika kita lihat kepada orang Arab, mereka sangat mengamalkan patriarki sehingga segalanya berasaskan seks. Seks jantina dan mungkin juga ‘seks’ yang dilakukan oleh berlainan jantina. Semua benda nak fikir seks, panggilan nama seks, binatang seks, bulan bintang pun nak berasaskan seks jugak.”

Dakwaan Yati Kaprawi itu anehnya diiringi dengan sorakan dan tepukan apabila panelis mengatakan hal-hal yang kurang sopan dan tidak tepat dengan norma bangsa Melayu yang sebenar. Kebanyakan penonton yang hadir adalah dalam kalangan bangsa Cina dan India serta beberapa orang ‘Melayu’ yang mengelirukan.

Sebagai wanita Melayu muslim yang berbangga dengan definisi panelis pertama, saya tidak faham bagaimana Yati Kaprawi menyimpulkan pemerhatian beliau dan di atas kajian yang mana?

Malangnya, apa yang saya lihat terdapat usaha untuk memecahkan tembok kesantunan Melayu dengan mendedahkan anak bangsa kita ke arah sesuatu yang tidak sopan. Oleh itu, wajarlah teguran berbentuk melarang atau menegur kecenderungan sedemikian.

Forum diteruskan dengan kata-kata Engku Iman sebagai salah seorang ahli panel, yang mengatakan mengenai masalah orang Melayu hari ini yang terlalu suka mengkritik orang lain.

“Saya ada post satu karya seni saya dalam FB, even art pun orang-orang Melayu nak kritik, diorang kata lukisan saya tu ada unsur lucah. Saya lukis gambar perempuan yang nampak breast dan saya dikutuk. Sedangkan itu hanyalah seni.”

Iman melihat bahawa masyarakat Melayu sekarang terlalu obses dengan seks dan kerana itu, mereka mengkritik lukisannya.

Saya fikir bukan masyarakat Melayu obses dengan seks. Tetapi kenapa berkarya dengan mendedahkan ‘aset’ yang juga perbuatan ditegah agama? Kritikan Melayu lain itu berasas. Ia normal bagi seorang wanita Melayu akan merasakan perbuatan itu terkeluar dari norma Melayu yang sebenar.

Kenyataan itu ditambah oleh Yati Kaprawi, “Masyarakat Melayu sekarang dan dulu dah jauh beza. Saya pun tak faham kenapa masyarakat Melayu sekarang ni terlalu fikirkan sangat tentang lucah dan sebagainya. Kalau dulu, perempuan berkemban tak ada masalah. Tapi sekarang, bila perempuan berkemban dia kata lucah, tak boleh tayang body, nanti jadi zina mata lah apa lah. Kenapa dari dulu tak kata macam tu?”

Saya fikir jikalau Yati Kaprawi mengikuti kelas agama, beliau akan tahu sudah lama zina mata, konsep aurat ini menjadi bahan pesanan ustaz dan ustazah zaman berzaman. Kita terlalu berpandukan filem P Ramlee untuk dijadikan pedoman cara pakaian zaman dahulu.

Fadiah Nadwa juga menambah, “Dulu ada satu kes seorang wanita ni menyusukan anaknya di tempat awam. Saya terkejut kerana wanita itu dikecam dengan begitu teruk sedangkan dia hanya menyusukan anaknya. Mengapa masyarakat kita terlalu kejam sampai macam tu sekali, di mana hak asasi wanita itu?”

Kenyataan Fadiah Nadwa ini juga sungguh tidak relevan dengan norma Melayu Islam. Hak asasi dan asas malu dalam Islam itu tidak patut dijadikan ukuran. Hak asasi itu merupakan hal yang terlalu rapuh untuk dijadikan hujah dalam situasi tersebut kerana sifat malu seorang muslimah itu terletak pada imannya bukan berasaskan hak asasi semata-mata.

Pelbagai jawapan yang disampaikan oleh para ahli panel sama ada terjawab ataupun tidak dalam forum tersebut, wallahualam (Hanya Allah yang tahu).

Cuma pada pandangan peribadi saya, segala persoalan yang diutarakan hanyalah dapat dijawab dengan persepsi dan pandangan, tiada jawapan yang tepat meskipun ada, ahli panel yang menjawab mungkin belum cukup kuat dengan hujah masing-masing.

Sebuah forum yang membincangkan topik wanita tetapi hanya berlandaskan persepsi semata-mata bukanlah suatu hal yang baik saya kira. Hal ini kerana, terdapat banyak unsur kekeliruan mengenai Melayu dan Islam tidak dapat dijawab bahkan diputar-belitkan oleh ahli panel sendiri.

Nurul Hajjar Atan
Aktivis Persatuan Belia Islam Nasional (PEMBINA)

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