Before I entered the world of tarbiyah, I felt as if life has no purpose. Being a student in a SMKA-type of school, Usrah was more like a ritual rather than an excitement for me.
My free time was spent to blog useless topics, experiment on the best angle for me to take selfies, filter the best pictures for me to put up on my social media or just think what can I do to have fun and enjoy this worldly life…. until the reality of life hit me. Badly.
When I first enrolled in matriculation, a sense of freedom captured me. Being away from my family and freedom from school rules, I could do anything that I wish to do. And so I did what my heart says. I hanged out with my friends, gossiped about guys, and the list went on and on….
My rebellious unislamic attitude caught my parent’s attention. But despite their scoldings and constant warnings and advices, I remained stubborn; immersed with the joys of life and washed away in the darkness of ignorance. Slowly and unconsciously, I drifted away from my Creator, my source of solace and tranquility.
Until at one point, I realized that I felt empty. I felt lost and blinded despite the bright and spacious freedom I owned. I began searching for senseless adventures, with the hope that it will fill up my emptiness, but instead, none of it benefited me nor brought joy to my life.
There were no weekly reminders that reminded me to thank Allah for his ni’mat and rizk. There were no reminders for me to be a good Muslim.
But one day, after forcing myself to the musolla to attend the weekly Islamic lecture held there, an ayah from the Quran stabbed me right in the heart
And when your Lord said to the angels, “Indeed, I will make upon the earth a khalifah (successive authority).” They said, “Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we declare Your praise and sanctify You?” Allah said, “Indeed, I know that which you do not know.” (Al baqarah: 30)
Allah had created us, humans, as Caliphs; leaders in this world. Yet, here we are wasting the limited time that we have by living in joy and fun of dunya that will never lasts.
What are we doing?
Why are we doing this?
Instantaneously, tears rolled down my cheeks and I cried, hard. I cried remembering the things that I have done, and I cried remembering the sins of my past
And for the first time, I felt enlightened. I finally found the purpose of my life, and why I am living the life that Allah had given me.
There. That one ayah from the Quran was my turning point that led my life that I presumed to have a long journey ahead back to the straight path of Islam.
Since then, I started to join Usrah, a weekly study circle that reminded me of my duties as a Muslim. There, I realised that there is a lot of things to do in this world rather than to have fun. I started to learn about Da’wah, about the basic principles of Islam, and there I finally saw the beauty within a religion that I was born with.
Dear friends, if you feel lost, hopeless, submerged within the darkness of life, trust me when I say, Allah is always there to listen, to help and to forgive you.
To realise that I was on the wrong path and to return back to Him is the most valuable gift that I have received in my life. I hope it will be the same for you too. Insha Allah.
I have found my turning point. How about you?
Inspired by Rumaisak Amiruddin and Hidayah Rosli of Royal College Medical Perak (RCMP)
Asst Head of Tarbiyah Bureau